I think we need to talk more about self-care. Most of us don’t engage in it enough. We…especially women…and most especially parents, tend to put everyone else’s needs before our own. But, as I have heard and often said, you must fill your own cup before you can fill someone else’s because you cannot pour from an empty vessel. They tell us when we fly that, in the event of an emergency, we must put on our own oxygen mask before helping anyone else.
Why do we have so much trouble loving ourselves? Aren’t we as worthy as everyone else who receives our love? Why are are so much nicer to everyone else than we are to ourselves? We take better care of them, we treat them with more respect, we tend to their needs and make sure they’re happy. Aren’t we worthy of that treatment too?
I’ve heard the excuses too. I don’t have time to exercise, eat right, cook a healthy meal, get enough sleep, etc. I have too much work to do, deadlines to meet, kids to run to all their activities, dishes to wash, a house to clean and so on.
Why are we so over-scheduled? I think it’s because we have become really bad at creating boundaries. We’re afraid to say no. If we say no to the boss, we might get fired. If we say no to the kids, they might hate us. I have news for you, they can always find a reason to hate us unless we’re less parent and more friend to them. If we say no to the various organizations who ask for our help, what would they think?
I would like to propose a suggestion…take some time every day for you. It doesn’t have to be a long time, maybe 20 minutes, but more if you can. Do something during that time just for you…or do nothing at all. Some ideas are: put on some fun music and have a dance party with yourself, take a long walk to nowhere, give yourself a facial or a manicure or a pedicure or maybe all three, take a nice long bubble bath with soothing music and candles and maybe a glass of wine, go shopping in a store that is way out of your price range and try on ridiculously expensive clothes to see how good you look in them, get a massage, buy yourself some pretty flowers, get up before everyone else and just enjoy the quiet, read a book, watch some silly YouTube videos, sit in nature and just listen to the sounds, smell the scents and take in the sights.
Recharging your battery is not an act of selfishness or self-indulgence, it’s a gift you give everyone who depends on you, including you. You deserve to take care of yourself, not for anything you have done but because you are worthy of care. You shouldn’t have to earn anyone’s love…least of all your own.
I’m going to take my own advice and take a hot shower and be in bed by 11PM tonight. Sweet dreams.
As a health coach, I work with women to find their power to overcome health challenges and live a fuller, happier, more energetic life. If you would like to have a free consultation about the health challenges you have and the improvements you would like to see in your health, click www.karensammer.com/contact to schedule a no strings attached call.