Have you ever heard of The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz? They are simple, really…simple but sometimes difficult to uphold. If you follow these ideals even most of the time, you’re doing well.
Be impeccable with your word
Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.
How often do we use words to drag ourselves and others down? Our sub-conscious hers what we say and can’t distinguish between sarcasm and truth. If we use our words to be self-deprecating we start to believe what we say. Speak only positivity about yourself. As for others, words that have left your mouth can never be unsaid. Think carefully before you say something that could have a detrimental impact on another person. You can never take those words back.
Don’t take anything personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinion and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.
Do you realize that it’s never about you? People see you and hear you through their own filter and their own experience. Do not allow someone’s opinion of you to derail you because what say and do is a reflection of them, not you. Don’t get caught up in someone else’s need to feel good about themselves by trying to drag you down to their level. When you do allow that, they have the home court advantage.
Don’t make assumptions
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.
Never assume the intent of someone by their words. Again, it is not about you. Ask for clarity if someone is expressing something you are unclear about. You may find that an experience they had clouded their view of a situation. If you ask for clarity and you communicate openly and honestly, you can clear the air and release the drama.
Always do your best
Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are tired as opposed to well-rested. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self abuse and regret.
Always just put one foot in front of the other. Some days will be a sprint and some days will be a stroll. As long as you give it what you can, you’ve done your best. Be gentle with yourself. Don’t judge or berate yourself if your best isn’t what you want it to be. One step forward at a time. I challenge myself and anyone interested in trying this to adhere to the four agreements for a full week and see if you notice any difference in your life. It will be simple but not easy.
The one that I need to focus on the most is "don't take anything personally." It is very hard to not react instantly as if something is only about me. Especially when it seems hurtful. Working on it.
Jeanine I know what you mean. I have the same issue. I especially want to not absorb someone's negativity that I don't even know.